Today I would like to highlight the aspect of growth – personal growth, to be precise.
When we talk about “adding value to yourself”, many people don’t know what this actually means or how it is performed in practice. Adding value to oneself can be equalled to growth.
But, what is growth?
Growth is basically defined as “the process of developing physically, mentally, or spiritually.” (thanks Google!)
For people who aspire to have sustainable, purposeful relationships, it is paramount that they reach a level of maturity that welcomes personal growth. Growing in your mental capacity therefore means that these people will have the desire to work on themselves. They will want to grow, they will be interested in their own growth. They will desire to learn from their environment, their peers, their own mistakes and the mistakes of others alike. The truth is, it does not matter the amount of experience you have – if you do not desire to learn, you will not grow. Failing to grow means that one will stay at the same level, the same stage in life and other areas, which will ultimately always bring the same results. In your relationships, you therefore won’t bring about solutions for probelms you may encounter – because you did not make it a habit to learn and grow. For instance, if you feel like someone who is always being taken advantage of, study your behaviour and analyse what prompts people to do that to you. Also, study the behaviour of those who you feel take advantage of you. This will help you identify patterns in respective people, it will teach you to engage with different kinds of people, and it will teach you self awareness that may encourage you to re-evaluate your own standards in order to fit the type of people you want to attract in your life.
Unfortunately, this is where most people get stuck or underestimate the actual meaning of growth. Because, they believe that their recent experiences have already “taught them something”. However, they fail to analyse the learning in itself. Only when your experience provides you with a courage to stretch yourself into a new direction, you learn (or grow). That stretching can be manifested by reading related books, listening to messages, asking questions, being curious, making a self-inventory and/or self-reflect, seeking concrete advice that will help you discover truth (which is not the same as venting with friends, though that can also be very useful in many ways) or finding a mentor.
Thinking about one’s own development and being concerned about not remaining in one spot, not remaining in one space for the rest of your life will help you work on yourself constantly. After all, your growth is dependent on you and how far you have widened your horizon. You attract what you set your foot towards, hence, personal growth is crucial for your own wellbeing, success and fulfilment in life.
Your desire for growth is a sign of maturity – because only mature people are so self aware that they seek knowledge, they seek to study, to learn, to grow. Consequently, desiring learning and growth in your relationships will automatically promote mutual understanding as it will give you and your partner the benefit of the doubt in your relationships because you won’t focus on being right anymore. In fact, when you are so busy developing yourself, you will have less and less time to criticize others (or your partner, for that matter).
Consciously decide to improve your life by developing yourself.
Keep in mind: When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too (Paulo Coelho).
With love and gratitude,